Stigma behind Vaginismus

Vaginismus. Not a great deal of people actually know what this condition is. It is not a very common condition but has gained quite a lot of stigma behind it. Recently I saw in the newspaper a newly married couple that was asking for donations to help fly them to the USA for treatment as they were unable to have sex and therefore unable to have children. When I saw the newspaper I felt happy that it was finally getting talk about. This condition that I only found out about when I was diagnosed with it two years ago was finally being discussed! But the newspaper article quickly got “trolled” and ridiculed with people commenting “Sex isn’t hard just get him to quickly shove it in and get it over with” other people commented saying that woman diagnosed with this condition were lying so they did not have to have sex with their partners.

This hurt. A lot. Having vaginsimus is simply put the inability to have any type of penetration into the vagina. It is not just sexual penetration but also having any type of pelvic exam such as a pap smear or inserting tampons is impossible. This is caused by an involuntary spasm of the vaginas muscles that the woman cant not IN ANY WAY control. They don’t even know they are doing it, all they can feel is intense burning pain. I had tried it all I had gotten drunk or just asked my partner to try as hard as he could but it only made my condition worse as I knew that if I tried to have sex the pain would return.

Only after many psychologist appointments focusing on CBT, dilators and medication was I able to overcome my problem. This stigma needs to stop. Vaginismus is a serious and devastating condition and often prevents fertile women to have the opportunity to have children if they cannot overcome it, ridiculing these women does not help or solve anything. Instead please by sympathetic as sufferers often feel useless and worthless. I know I did. I felt as though I was letting my partner down by not being able to have children. I am now able to only just have sex but it is another hurdle to deal with childbirth as obviously natural delivery would be close to impossible.Please educate yourselves if you dont understand this condition and for women who do have vaginismus dont give up! I know it seems impossible now but it does get better and the treatment eventually does work! Just keep trying xo


Can’t afford $6 wine

I think the lowest I’ve ever been is today. It’s New Year’s Eve tomorrow and thought I would splash out and buy a bottle of cheap $6 wine only to have the machine come back with a big fat ‘declined’.

I never realised before moving out how hard life really is. As I’ve chosen to study and further my education I’m basically sacrificing my happiness. I work all day and come home to a town house that probably hasn’t been renovated since the 70’s  with mess everywhere as I have no time to clean. I can’t go for a full time job as I’m only part time doing around 45 hours a week. That means no salary, no sick pay, no holiday pay and  taxed any extra. I have no security, if I get firEd tomorrow I have a $10,000 personal loan and a student loan with nothing to show for it.

if I hadn’t gone to university I could of stayed home and saved up for a car and furniture so I wouldn’t have to get a loan. If I hadn’t decided to go to uni I would have a full time salary job which would give me security and the money to go out atleast once a week. Instead I stay home every night see my friends once a month and work 5 days a week with a Tuesday and Thursday off to clean my crappy townhouse.

You can’t get good money without a degree and you can’t get a degree without good money!

Christmas time in Australia


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After all the horrific days Australia has had such as the Sydney siege and the murder of 8 innocent children In cairns I think it’s time to try and focus on the good aspects of what it’s like to live in Australia.

Last night I went to one of my favourite places, the south bank parklands. During Christmas time they set up markets with various different crafts on sale. My inner hippy loves markets. After my purchases of a wooden phone case ( a man had designed intricate hearts on it right in front of me) as well as some hand made soaps and jewellery my boyfriend and I walked over to the massive Ferris wheel opposite the river.

Christmas carols were being sung everywhere from different performers and the wheel was lit up a fantastic red and green, finally it’s beginning to feel like Christmas!

We then walked hand in hand over to the river to watch the amazing firework display before heading back to the car.

As I’ve gotten older I’ve felt the magic of Christmas disappearing. I’m no longer excited for presents or Christmas movies and hot chocolate. But south bank has never failed to bring the magic back. It’s not big and fantastic but it’s definitely one of the reasons why I love to live in Australia.