Vaginismus. Not a great deal of people actually know what this condition is. It is not a very common condition but has gained quite a lot of stigma behind it. Recently I saw in the newspaper a newly married couple that was asking for donations to help fly them to the USA for treatment as they were unable to have sex and therefore unable to have children. When I saw the newspaper I felt happy that it was finally getting talk about. This condition that I only found out about when I was diagnosed with it two years ago was finally being discussed! But the newspaper article quickly got “trolled” and ridiculed with people commenting “Sex isn’t hard just get him to quickly shove it in and get it over with” other people commented saying that woman diagnosed with this condition were lying so they did not have to have sex with their partners.

This hurt. A lot. Having vaginsimus is simply put the inability to have any type of penetration into the vagina. It is not just sexual penetration but also having any type of pelvic exam such as a pap smear or inserting tampons is impossible. This is caused by an involuntary spasm of the vaginas muscles that the woman cant not IN ANY WAY control. They don’t even know they are doing it, all they can feel is intense burning pain. I had tried it all I had gotten drunk or just asked my partner to try as hard as he could but it only made my condition worse as I knew that if I tried to have sex the pain would return.

Only after many psychologist appointments focusing on CBT, dilators and medication was I able to overcome my problem. This stigma needs to stop. Vaginismus is a serious and devastating condition and often prevents fertile women to have the opportunity to have children if they cannot overcome it, ridiculing these women does not help or solve anything. Instead please by sympathetic as sufferers often feel useless and worthless. I know I did. I felt as though I was letting my partner down by not being able to have children. I am now able to only just have sex but it is another hurdle to deal with childbirth as obviously natural delivery would be close to impossible.Please educate yourselves if you dont understand this condition and for women who do have vaginismus dont give up! I know it seems impossible now but it does get better and the treatment eventually does work! Just keep trying xo